There have been so many times in my life where I have lost hope. This is not a unique experience if you are breathing and interacting with other people on planet Earth.
We hope for good breaks, we hope for healing in our bodies and in our relationships. Some people hope their favorite teams win a championship. But sometimes when things don't work out the way we think they should, we lose that sense of hope. The dictionary defines "hope" as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen (noun). When our hopes come true, we feel accomplished, fulfilled, and motivated to accomplish more with hope as the central source. But when our hopes are crushed it can drastically change our lives, making us feel hopeless, meaningless, and faithless. Like failures.
I remember the day my Gynecologist told me I was infertile. It was devastating to hear that I would not likely ever have a child of my own. A gynecological condition I was born with would be the reason I would not become a mother. I remember thinking..."My mother became a mother, both of grandmothers birthed more than 15 children each...my oldest sister had three sons....how can this be?" I went for a second opinion. That Gynecologist went right to the "in-vitro" discussion. He didn't want to deal with the issue at hand...he didn't want to further the pain in my evidently broken heart. I was 24 years old when I walked out of that office and decided to try to make it happen myself. After diets, holding legs above my head after sex, changing sleeping positions and a million other home remedies for trying to hold hope for a fertilized egg to stick to my uterine wall...all of my attempts failed...failed hard!
Age 27...a friend told me she dreamed I had a son! She described him beautifully. Secretly, hope sparked.
At age 28, others came to me, separate and apart from my first friend and shared visions and dreams they had that I would have a child. One day, a Nigerian Minister who was invited to speak in our church walked up to me, looked me in the eyes then at my stomach and yelled at the top of her lungs "OPEN! MULTIPLY!" I felt something happen - not in my womb .. I felt it in my spirit...hope awakened.